It's my dads birthday

He would have been 69 today if he hadn't left us on November 11, 2011. I can't function too much today and the tears keep welling up in my eyes making it hard to type out my posts.
We have always shared a special time of year because our birthdays fall in the same week.
I've resisted laying around and feeling sorry for myself since he passed. Maybe to am extreme. I've used working out as a distraction and have even joined that second workout center, Curves. I was suppost to go today, my husband tried to get me to but I just can't. I know I wouldn't be able to get into it.
I can't stop the feelings today and i'm not used to that. I've become a master at pushing things back. If I didn't do that I would be a bigger mess than what Iam.
I know he wouldn't be very happy with me or that i'm so unhappy right now. But he will have to realize that i'm only so strong and I love him so much that i'm literally in physical pain. It has to come out.
There is nothing worse in this life than a sudden death of a loved one. I miss you so much dad.
Love, your daughter, Cheryl