Yesterday wasn't that nice of a day, ugh. It was awesome outside but Zac and his sister have to keep putting their trash on FaceBook and I fell for it this time. Tammy was "liking" some of the posts that were degrading to Jayme and all Hell broke loose. I thought we had things worked out and Jayme got off of work and saw Tammy's original emails and lost it on her. I hope they work it out because Jayme will feel bad and so will Tammy. Nobody will win. I'm ashamed of myself for the posts that I posted and removed them. I've never stooped that low and posted crap like that on FaceBook...geez. In my defense I was having some bad days, or pretty much the whole week because of dads birthday. I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes.
So, I went and worked out yesterday and actually am feeling better. I was a hermit for about 3 day. I cried for a day or two, kept my face in some type of electronic gadget. Usually working on some type of blog post and really getting nowhere. Spinning my wheels. I'm not using that as a crutch but it's the only thing that makes sense to me to do something that out of character for me.
To make matters worse I've joined an 8 week challenge through Alternate Economy and am suppost to be working on bettering myself and my attitude towards others. I thought I was doing good but kinda fell off the wagon yesterday. But I got a blog post about step 2 in the 8 week challenge and its' about compassion and the biggie with compassion is being able to forgive yourself. I've always had a hard time with that...Always! I don't know if everyone is like this but I'm much more likely to forgive someone else before I would myself. I always say that once you have kids you're on a permanent guilt trip and ya that's true. I can find a way to make everything my fault.
I'm going to make another post tonight or tomorrow about my 8 week challenge because I have to keep some type of journal for it so I can remember everything when I'm getting ready to write my essay and turn it in. It will be published on their site so I want it to convey everything....and I have little Mr. Rylie hiding at the bottom of the stairs and he's suppost to be in bed....hmmmmm
~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~
CHER
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