It's Almost my Birthday

 I have exactly an hour and ten minutes before I finish my 43rd year of life and jump into year 44!  I can't believe I'm going to be that age.  Somehow, I always thought I would stay 32 forever but ya, that never happens.
I'm lucky to be celebrating my birthday because my health hasn't been so good over the past few years.  I downplay it cause I never want anyone to worry but I've got some major issues.  I've been taking great care of myself though.
I'm pretty happy with myself for changing my ways.  I'm taking the right steps and am feeling lots better.  I have to remember to get my blood-test done so I can see where my levels are.  Who knows maybe I can get off of some of my medicines!
I've spent quite a bit of the day lurking on the Internet for birthday freebies.  I want to put a post up on my public website for lots of free stuff on your birthday.  There's lots out there too.  Some are even worth doing. www.sharingitforward.wordpress.com
It's nice and quiet and dark here. Rylie just went to bed about an hour ago. Bill had to lay him down because Rylie won't stay in bed for me anymore.  He keeps getting up and is even getting into stuff.  I've put everything up so he has nothing to get into that can hurt him in the morning if he gets up before us.  I'm setting my alarm and hopefully will get up before he does.  He isn't waking us up when he wakes up! I don't know if he thinks someone is downstairs and when he gets down there he gets sidetracked or what? But it's making me a nervous wreck.
We are going to get deadbolts for the doors because it won't be long before he decides he needs to let the dogs out and slip his boots on and head out too.  He's getting so big so fast.
He jumps on my lap and says "I wuv you!!" It makes it all worth it.  I love my little guy so so much:)

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Been a Bad Girl!

Yesterday wasn't that nice of a day, ugh.  It was awesome outside but Zac and his sister have to keep putting their trash on FaceBook and I fell for it this time.  Tammy was "liking" some of the posts that were degrading to Jayme and all Hell broke loose.  I thought we had things worked out and Jayme got off of work and saw Tammy's original emails and lost it on her.  I hope they work it out because Jayme will feel bad and so will Tammy.  Nobody will win.  I'm ashamed of myself for the posts that I posted and removed them.  I've never stooped that low and posted crap like that on FaceBook...geez.  In my defense I was having some bad days, or pretty much the whole week because of dads birthday.  I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes.
So, I went and worked out yesterday and actually am feeling better.  I was a hermit for about 3 day. I cried for a day or two, kept my face in some type of electronic gadget.  Usually working on some type of blog post and really getting nowhere.  Spinning my wheels.  I'm not using that as a crutch but it's the only thing that makes sense to me to do something that out of character for me.
To make matters worse I've joined an 8 week challenge through Alternate Economy and am suppost to be working on bettering myself and my attitude towards others.  I thought I was doing good but kinda fell off the wagon yesterday.  But I got a blog post about step 2 in the 8 week challenge and its' about compassion and the biggie with compassion is being able to forgive yourself.  I've always had a hard time with that...Always!  I don't know if everyone is like this but I'm much more likely to forgive someone else before I would myself.  I always say that once you have kids you're on a permanent guilt trip and ya that's true.  I can find a way to make everything my fault.
I'm going to make another post tonight or tomorrow about my 8 week challenge because I have to keep some type of journal for it so I can remember everything when I'm getting ready to write my essay and turn it in.  It will be published on their site so I want it to convey everything....and I have little Mr. Rylie hiding at the bottom of the stairs and he's suppost to be in bed....hmmmmm

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

It's my dads birthday

He would have been 69 today if he hadn't left us on November 11, 2011. I can't function too much today and the tears keep welling up in my eyes making it hard to type out my posts.
We have always shared a special time of year because our birthdays fall in the same week.
I've resisted laying around and feeling sorry for myself since he passed. Maybe to am extreme. I've used working out as a distraction and have even joined that second workout center, Curves. I was suppost to go today, my husband tried to get me to but I just can't. I know I wouldn't be able to get into it.
I can't stop the feelings today and i'm not used to that. I've become a master at pushing things back. If I didn't do that I would be a bigger mess than what Iam.
I know he wouldn't be very happy with me or that i'm so unhappy right now. But he will have to realize that i'm only so strong and I love him so much that i'm literally in physical pain. It has to come out.
There is nothing worse in this life than a sudden death of a loved one. I miss you so much dad.
Love, your daughter, Cheryl

Great few days AND Curves and diet update

Cover of Curves

 It's been a pretty good few days for me.  First I went to see Wade yesterday.  I always love the 2 hour visits we have.  Even though he's been in prison for a year I don't think that it's fully registered with me.  I'm not sure that it ever will and I don't think that I want it to.  Nobody wants to face the fact that one of their children are behind bars for now and years to come.  I always wish we could go back in time and surely enough I find a way to blame it on myself.  I shouldn't do that because mothers with children in prison are already frowned upon.  But I do get to see and talk to him and that's more than Tammy can say.  He's learning a lot there, good and bad.  He's starting to weed it out too and I'm happy for that. I wish his dad would go visit him, I don't think he realizes how important that is for Wade.  We have our "busy" lives but we have to put our priorities in line and live by that...period. Wade has plans and they are all good ones....at least the ones he lets me know of.  It's kinda weird but through the entire process I've been worried about his life afterwards and what kind of life he is going to have.  He will have to have twice the amount of diligence than any other person to get where he wants to be but it can be done.  Anything can be done.  I know that for a fact and I always have faith, especially in my kids.
Today I weighed in at Curves and lost 11 lbs!  I was so excited! I told Sondra that I feel like I'm on the biggest loser and I'm going to win the competition! hehe.  That's pretty good because I'm in my 3rd week there and I can feel major changes.  The circuit training is one of the best things for the body and my 1200 calorie diet has been working wonders and I don't have any problems at all except for late at night sometimes.  I ate a whole baggie of celery last night.  Not a bag from the store but the left over cut up pieces from Easter.  Man, they tasted good haha.  They really did.  I wanted more.
Another lady at Curves told me about Hydroxycut.  I've of course heard of it before, it's a diet pill basically.  It's suppost to burn fat and give you energy.  She said that it worked wonders for her.  When I get a word of mouth tip like that I usually jump on it. So on my way to see Wade yesterday I picked up a bottle.  I'm glad I did because they were on sale for $10.00 off.  So I've been taking them for 2 days now.  I take one before I eat.  The directions tell you to take 1 before each meal for the first 3 days, not to eat between meals and not to eat after dinner.  Then after the 3rd day you can up to 2 before meals.  I haven't noticed a difference in my energy level yet anyway.  I may notice it when I increase to 2 pills Friday.  I will take all the help I can get! But I'm so happy because that 11 lbs is long gone.  I lost it in a way that it's not going to creep back on overnight...I fought hard for it.
I think I got my mom to start drinking protein shakes in the morning now.  She is going to buy some this weekend.  I told her that it's real important to get those 30 grams of protein in within 30 minutes of waking up.  She is also doing good with the Zoloft, she says she has more energy which makes sense since depression sucks the life and energy out of you, and she's only been taking it about a week if that so she should still see more improvement up to the 2 weeks.


~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Easter 2012

It was such a beautiful day out for an Easter egg hunt.  The kids really had a great time even though they were all tired.  I remember those days, you just kept going and going.  Alana is so funny.  She was tired and she would just fall down in a little heap when someone came to her so that they would pick her up and carry her.  She's a smart little cookie.  I took some pictures and a few videos.  I'm going to upload those soon.  I emailed Wade a quick happy Easter but I know he didn't have one:(. I will be so happy when he can finally come home.  It seems like he's already been gone way too long.
I had my shake this morning with water, then a sub, then some ham and cornbread mixture stuff and just a little of each.  Got hungrier later on after I got home and had a shake with skim milk.  Not to bad for a day full of chocolate...come to think of it I didn't even see any chocolate!

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Curves and diet update

Cover of Curves

Image via CrunchBase

 Before I leave the blog for the day I want to get a post down for my diet.  I've stayed on it strong.  Yup, I'm all that!  I was going over the 1200 after the first day because of snacks so I just cut those out.  I also had the salad on the first night and that was enough for me.  It wasn't enough calories when you think I'm burning over 700 on Mon, Wed and Friday and about 450 on Tuesday and Thursdays.  So I've kept my morning protein shakes and am eating my sub for lunch and then the other half for dinner that's giving me 1191 calories a day, that's counting the cheese and low fat mayo.  As a matter of fact on Thursday when we went to go pick up Rylie I stopped at the Subway on the way home to get 4 subs to get me through the weekend.  Rylie helped me eat them too.  He loves them, red onions, green peppers and all.
I keep track of everything, food, exercise, water intake and my weight on my Android using the Sparkpeople application.  It syncs with my Sparkpeople page where you can find more info about me lol, probably more than anyone wants to know.  I have to stop by there and drop a blog post.
Sondra (the Curves lady) wouldn't let me weigh myself Thursday (closed for Good Friday) because I asked after I worked out and she said I would weigh less.  So I have to remember to do it before I start working out.  I feel like I've dropped some serious weight.  I can really feel and see it in my face.  I think it will be a good idea to wait till the end of next week to weigh unless she wants to do it before.  We're having a challenge this month to see who can lose the most weight.  I'm gonna win....I know that!  Probably because I'm new and have the most weight to lose.
So I go on Mon, Wed and Friday and the reason for that is because she locks the doors on those days and lets men workout from 1-2.  So ya, you guessed it, I have Bill signed up at Curves!! lol.  Not many wives can pass that one off.  I'd like to see it.  He loves it tho and he is real pepped up afterwards.  He gets a high from it, I know.  He doesn't even come home and take a 4 hour nap like he does after water aerobics. The only thing that kinda sucks about the whole thing is the time difference between water aerobics and Curves.  Water aerobics start at 10 and we have to wait till 1 to get into Curves because of Bill. On M.W and Friday I usually splash around in the regular pool for another half hr and get a bit more exercise then hit the therapy pool and usually the sauna before showering and heading out but the therapy pool was closed Thursday because the hospital uses it for therapy sometimes and they were using it and then I forgot my towel so I didn't take a mega shower.  We had some time to kill so we went to Subway and waited in the car.  There is an aerobics class that starts at noon I believe but I think that would be cutting it way too close.  We would be running late all the time and I don't like that feeling.  We have the time, nothing else to do but I really wasn't wanting to spend my whole day working out.  But I gotta do what I gotta do so I will do it.
That's my update and I'm sticking to it.
Tomorrow's Easter, mom is having it at her house and is making ham. Yum. I wish I knew how to count calories because I'm going to have to eat my sub!


~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Awesome news from Jayme

I just got some wonderful news from Jayme, her and Derick are getting married.  And that's not all...they are 99% sure that they're gonna have a baby in about 8 months! Yay, another grandbaby to spoil.  I'm excited about it.  She didn't think she would ever be married but they are in love.  She must know now how it feels to love someone so much that you feel like you want to share your life with them.  I know that Rylie and Alana love him too and he's real good with them.  She said that Derick is going to adopt Rylie and that's real exciting news too because I feel that Derick follows through with what he says he gonna do.  I think Jayme has made a pretty good decision.  He has motivation for the future and is really good to all of them.  Boy they are gonna have a full house soon.  We're hoping the baby will be dark haired!  Jayme may end up with a mini me after all!!  How exciting.  I did a little math and if she is about a month along which is usually the case when you start thinking you're preggo, then we should have a little bouncer in December again. Hmmm, I will have to start thinking about names again lol lol.  More on this later.
I've had Rylie since Thursday and he has been a pistol.  I don't know if we missed the terrible two's or what's going on but he has pushed every button that he could find.  Cryed everytime I laid him down...got into everything...didn't listen to anything and I mean anything.  I had to put in him timeout twice today and Bill did once.  He was in the timeout yesterday too.  I think he's double checking the boundaries here because of the changes in his home life.  Well, he got his answer.  Such a sweetie though too.  He hugs me and says I love you.  Gotta love that, it makes it all worth it.

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Landscaping

WanttoJon came out today and trimmed some trees and got to work on digging out the river rocks. It turned out to be a much bigger job than he thought it was gonna be but he still got quite a few accomplished. I knew it was find be quite a job...there are so many of them. It was nice of them to put tarps down when they laid the rocks because there isn't that mess of where do we stop digging?
I'll be so happy when they are gone and I can get some grass planted there. River rocks in the middle of a yard just don't make since especially since were not even lake front.
Bill took down all the white poles where I want to put the 5 ft fence. Hopefully tomorrow Jon gets my hill tilled so I can plant my garden.

Happy Birthday BBT

 It was such a nice day yesterday to celebrate Rylie's 3rd  birthday.  I could go on and on about how he is growing so fast but I won't.  But everyday he becomes smarter, sweeter and is such a good boy.  He is my favorite little guy and has me totally wrapped around his little fingers.  I love you BBT!

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Meditation for Weight Loss

Meditation for Weight Loss

I will be trying this out.  Ever since yoga left the Y, I've been missing a part of my mind body and soul and it gives me inspiration to know that meditation will help with weight loss which is just a bonus since meditation does so many other things for you.

This website also has a link right there at the top that will link you to an article telling you how to meditate in case you weren't sure.  Which I'm not.  I have some ideas but I like to do everything to the best of my ability and will be reading this article.

Thanks to positivelybeautiful.net


~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Related articles

• More on meditation (weightmaven.org)
• Meditation: 10 Minutes A Day Changes Brain (aurablog.org)

Its a fun day. This is my little doodle. Just playing with a new application on my tablet.

I went to Curves today and signed up. I'm not real happy with my weight...its even 3 lbs higher than it was at the doctors office last week if that's possible.

She took my measurements and I was happy for that because when I take my own measurements I can pretty much make them whatever I want within reason. Its like if I feel like being nice to myself that day then I just squeeze the tape a little harder. Its funny but I didn't even look to see what they were.

We went over some goals. She said that my goals couldn't include for health reasons or to look better...hmmm. That was kinda hard. Eventually I came up with 2 pretty good ones.

1) I would like to wear more bathing suits and look good in them this summer (and many summers to come!!).
2) I would like to go shopping for new clothes.

Both of those are true, so there we go. As far as weight goes I said I'd like to lose 20 lbs in a month and she said that was unrealistic. She said I should go with something like ten lbs in a month. Of course I'm still gonna shoot for the stars. I told her that I do an hour of water aerobics everyday too, so that combined with my new workout at Curves should add up.

She put me on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I'm really not sure how much food that entails since I've never counted calories. The thought of it doesn't appeal to me at all either but nothing that I've done on my own had worked, so I don't wanna be dumb. I will listen to her. I told her that she was really gonna have to break this down for me. So she did. She says if I get up at 7am that I should eat breakfast then and then dinner at 7pm.  Then that makes lunch at 1pm with snacks at 10am and 4pm. I should get most of my calories at lunch and snacks should stay around 100 calories. For dinner I should eat a salad. She says to go ahead and figure out what I'm going to have for breakfast and dinner and snacks then eat the remaining calories for lunch.

Here's what my plan boils down to...protein shake for breakfast. This is because I still want to make sure I get my 30 grams of protein in within 30 minutes of getting up and I have 2 huge things of whey protein shakes in the back room, both chocolate and strawberry. This is gonna be about 200 calories with 8 oz of skim milk. Then off to an hour of water aerobics, then off to 30 minutes of Curves workout.

I will have to bring a snack with me to eat in between so i'm going to get those big rice cakes and put some peanut butter on it...this will snag another 100 calories. Also 12 almonds will equal about 100 calories.  Come to think of it, I will take the almonds with me to eat as a snack and then eat the rice cakes at home.

For lunch I'm going to go for the 6 inch sub from subway. No cheese, or have them use only shredded. So I'll buy a 12 inch then I'm set for 2 days or I guess I could share with bill:) My sub of choice (after researching the subway site) is the oven roasted chicken with roasted garlic bread, natural cheddar cheese, light mayonnaise.  This will suck up another 320 calories. I think I might need more calories for my lunch because just by doing a little basic math I've only eaten 620 calories for breakfast, lunch and both snacks. I will add a protein shake for lunch too.  So that will give me 520 calories for lunch.  Then I will have 820 calories under my belt, leaving me with 380 calories for dinner.  That should be pretty easy to do with a salad.  Especially since she said all veges are free, so is coffee.  As with any diet I have to drink my 64 ounces of water a day and that's really easy for me to do.

My dinners will always be a salad she says.  So I want to have grilled chicken available at all times for my salads. I will make them with lettuce, red onions, avocados, radishes and chicken with 2 tbls of ranch dressing.  I have to keep it as simple as possible.  She said that I could have a dab of low fat shredded cheese and I just prefer to forget it altogether.  I'm not into low fat and if I'm gonna have cheese...I'M GONNA HAVE CHEESE!!

All of this comes down to a pretty basic and easy shopping list! For me anyways...

lettuce (3 heads)
red onions (2)
avocados (2)
ranch dressing
radishes (1 large baggie)
chicken breast in strips (1 bag)
skim milk (2 gallons)
peanut butter (1 jar)
cardboard cracker thingys (1 package large)
almonds (1 bag)

WOW, really?   That's all?  This is gonna be so much cheaper than low carb.  I'm gonna have to talk to Bill about making his own meals because that will be my downfall...making my salad and then having to turn around and making him a meal.  He is also gonna have to keep his hands off my salad stuff or I will have to go shopping every few days and that will get to be a drag.

Of course I'll have to double check all of these calories because I don't want to get off track and I can do that pretty easily at Sparkpeople.

She also wants me to get a step meter thingy so that I can track my steps everyday and all the exercising I do doesn't count.  She wants me to take 550 steps a day beside my exercise.  I think that's gonna be hard to do but I will try. I will have to get off my ass more often during the day.  In this small house I will have to walk around in circles to get that many steps.

For my dad...

I'm posting this because I had the most caring, non-judgmental, giving, smart and generous dad there ever was. Looking back, everything he did he did for his family and not once did he ask for anything in return or complain, he never complained about anything and he had lots to complain about. We gave him a run for his money and he took it all in stride. If he didn't have anything good to say about someone he said nothing at all. I miss you so much!! If you still have your dad with you...don't ever take him for granted not for one minute, cherish and make wonderful memories so you have those to look back on.

Drop Box - Cheryl Rogers - Picasa Web Albums:

'via Blog this'

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Rylie and Lala

Rylie and Alana February 2012
My favorite two kiddies.  I love you both so much!

Just wondering

Is there a reason for a anything or is it all with the roll of the dice? Does it matter how hard you try to succeed at something if karma isn't your buddy?

Working those muscles hard

Today was pilates and then water aerobics. Ann, our pilates instructor was ready working us hard today and water aerobics was a blessing!I was glad  to see that Lee and Elaine showed up today and I think they enjoyed themselves although I know it was hard on them.

Getting in shape

Minding my body with yoga, pilates, water aerobics and some cardio toning, which the later I haven't done yet. It's so very hard on me.  I hope I can keep up with it.  I'm so out of shape that even when I think I'm taking it easy on myself I end up in terrible pain. Things will get better and I'm looking forward to that

~~Show Faith, Always Dream, Share With Everyone, Hope hope HOPE and Love Ridiculously & Unselfishly and Be the Person you Dream and Hope to be remembered for~~

CHER

Me n rylie jan 2012

Rylie's helping with the pooper scooper

Me n rylie jan 2012

Up late

Seems like since I had the babies for two weeks now all I wanna do is stay up late because I can.
But I'm on my way to bed because I'm off to see Dr Curfman tomorrow about Botox injections for my neck.
I also want to get this medication figured out. I'm getting real tired of the nurses being stingy. It's uncalled for and petty.

Tazja

Tazja January 2012, my sons Bull Mastiff.  I've been taking care of her for a year now.

Rylie tin hat

Rylie tin hat